I Hear Sweden is Beautiful This Time of Year

Because of our perverse incentives (that's right, our incentives are depraved) I found myself practically taking my customers hostage to avoid returning to the post office early. With all you hear about Stockholm Syndrome, you'd think that they'd end up wanting me on their porches, but no, not so much. Well, I was talking to one lady about writing down the stories she's told me over the years. She said now that she's 85 her memory is starting to fail. "Eighty five," I said, "You don't have time to be out here talking to your mailman!"