Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Monday, December 21, 2009
Immunization with an experimental anti-cocaine vaccine resulted in a substantial reduction in cocaine use in 38 percent of vaccinated patients in a clinical trial supported by the National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA), a component of the National Institutes of Health.
Yeah, get back to me when they've got something for a truly addictive substance like Doritos.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Fine, we live in a secular, post-Christian, society. But tell me how Baby It's Cold Outside, isn't a song about date rape.
Then when I went to Wikipedia to make sure I had the name of the song right, it turned out that I was not the first person to notice that. Sayyid Qutb, an Egyptian writer in the 1950's and 60's cited the song as evidence of the "animal-like mixing of the sexes" in America. His writings, which included the line,"Civilization should favor humanity, not act against it," were very influential in the founding of Al-Qaeda.
And then so on and so on, link after link. Finally, I tossed Wikipedia a couple of bucks to let me go, and you can do the same. =====>
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Since we have six vacant positions at our station, they're forcing carriers to work overtime to get the mail delivered. As carriers get tired or resentful, they're getting doctors to write them notes saying they can't work overtime which means that the carriers that haven't done that have to work even more overtime which means even more tired resentful carriers going to doctors, add nauseum and stir.
I was wandering through the cold, hard, seemingly interstellar, dark last night looking for addresses or mailboxes, or even a street sign. It was like an interminable Zoloft dream, without the prospect of waking up. Anyway, the days have pretty much stopped getting shorter, and next week after the solstice, the sun starts to move north, and we can begin our headlong dash into next winter.
Oh, speaking of interstellar, am I the only one who is not rushing out to see Avatar? Doesn't it sound like amazing effects serving a tired story about corporate greed and the military? I mean they probably won't finish up with how important it is to believe in yourself, but still, really? Greedy corporations, how original.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
That's right, $52 shipping for a calendar, and it's a paper calendar, too, not a bunch of huge monoliths standing in a circle.
Have they even thought of just putting it in an envelope and dropping it in the mail with $1.39 postage?
They also sell a personally painful T-shirt that says, "More people have read this shirt than your blog."
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
At the airport, the agent had explained that it wasn't just missing connections in Seattle, that bumped us out of first class. Another factor is that when the airline changes to a smaller plane, as happens sometimes, upgraded ticket passengers are the first ones pushed back to coach, and then mileage passengers. A customer on my route told me yesterday that his son was recently bumped off a plane entirely to make room for non-revenue airline employees who were going to a company party. We agreed that the only promise the airline makes to its passengers is to not non-metaphorically urinate on them, and that's only if for some reason they don't want to.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
Thursday, December 10, 2009
talking about this dictation program and micro current stimulator the
heater doesn't stimulate or overstimulate that forgot to mention that
after 14 months yesterday Karen was finally disconnected from her
Karen was finally disconnected from her you can tell I'm still
dictating right here was finally disconnected from the external pump
that she's been carrying around for the last 14 months. She's free.
Sent from my iPhone
or upload her install dragon For dictation and am dictating this blog
into a yes or quick glance shows that you will be able to tell that I
did download the Dragon happen. I'm dictating into it and we all know
by now the perils that Running amok posers from the Terminator to
twitter. It turns out that text just sitting still can be kind of
annoying to yesterday Karen finally after months got some electrical
stimulating device that was supposed to help with her pain management
which has two states one whatsoever and two, burning sensations flying
upper arm glancing at what I've recorded so far, I see that the
Nigerians let's been using this system for years to send out e-mail.
Sent from my iPhone
Wednesday, December 09, 2009
Maybe I'll give it a few days and see if they eliminate that due to privacy concerns. I mean if I wanted everyone to know how few friends I had, I'd join facebook.
Tuesday, December 08, 2009
Sent from my iPhone
Monday, December 07, 2009
Saturday, December 05, 2009
They used rhesus monkeys for some of the work because they share 95% of their genes with humans, although in the case of the Olson twins it might be slightly more.
Thursday, December 03, 2009
In other health news, or fitness, anyway; I downloaded an app for my iPhone that promised that within six weeks I could do 100 push-ups. It's a bit of a disappointment because the way the app accomplishes that is by having you do lots and lots of push-ups during those six weeks.
For the last few weeks, our station managers have been repeatedly forcing carriers to work more hours than the contract allows. This is dumb for lots of reasons, most of which I'm too tired to type, but here's one: they're paying carriers at the top of the pay scale double time rather than hiring, as the contract allows, lower paid, non-benefit-receiving temporary employees (in fact they just let one of those go when her term was up, rather than reinstating her). So, tiring for the carriers and expensive for the post office. As of today, though, most of those restrictions on carrier hours are rescinded for the holiday period.
Wednesday, December 02, 2009
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Luckily, I had my iPhone, and when I did not know where the next stop was, why, I just fired up the Maps app and hey presto, there it was.
I read one of the vampire-American books, Dead Until Dark, the other day. Well, I say book, but I really downloaded it onto my phone. Pages are so millennium before last. Anyway, when I finished it, I went to buy the next one in the series, and Barnes and Noble had priced it at $19.96! For an e-book! Sort of preternaturally predatory pricing, no?
When I was in high school, I read a collection called 900 Grandmothers. There's a story about a scientist who can't remember what a particular machine in his lab does. He discovers that it is making people forget that Chicago has been destroyed. He understands then, why there is such a maudlin strain in the popular culture. Having remembered, he lets the machine take his memory away again.
I'm wondering if the sudden popularity of all things vampire is an expression of the way our government, and businesses, and health care system, and book stores, seem to be bleeding us dry.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
We probably should have called awhile ago, but I just worried I'd be embarrassed that the guy would wave his gas sensing wand around and discover a dead squirrel or something under the refrigerator.
We recently got an estimate to replace the furnace with a much more efficient one. It was really expensive. Apparently what we're going to do instead is replace this furnace, piece by piece, and end up with the same inefficient furnace we already have, but at an even higher price.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Speaking of which, I know a man who is a Mormon and a chiropractor. I bet he wears a toupee.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Well, maybe better that than the world imagined in the Star Trek movie that came out last year. I just saw the thrilling special-effects laden DVD. I had to wonder though, why, if the (spoiler alert) Romulans had to kill 25 years, one at a time, before they could kill Spock, they didn't just sail over to to Romulus and save their planet themselves. It's possible I missed something obvious. I felt sort of that way at the end of The Usual Suspects. It seemed to me that the big twist at the end didn't make any sense at all, but apparently I'm wrong because according to the users at IMDB, responding to a criticism of the movie:
"I love this movie. Whadda you do for a living, sell shoes? Cooka-yayah-o"
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Ellie, our cute little lap dog who was on my lap getting her belly
rubbed, "That's a poem."
Then, "Oh, you poor thing, you don't know any poems, or even any words
So, I was feeling sorry for her empty little life, when she leaned way
over and started licking herself.
Sent from my iPhone
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
So, yeah, we watched her on Oprah, but what is really stimulating conversations and consternation up here is the Post Office's decision to no longer accept letters addressed to Santa, and to no longer allow the town of North Pole, AK to have its own postmark.
The postal spokesman said it was a matter of efficiency. Apparently we weren't losing customers fast enough; we're going to start chasing them away.
Monday, November 16, 2009
I did go back to work today, and it was cold. Those madcaps at Harry and David are at it again sending fruit up here now that it's winter. I spent the day all, "Um, I have a package of nice crisp oranges for you."
Sunday, November 15, 2009
So, I don't have much to report (until I screw up (instead of in) a knob. To keep you busy until then, check out a site that's practically guaranteed to make you feel better.
Friday, November 13, 2009
looking for Karen. I just found her. She's buying so-called Christmas
decorations, which I am beginning to think are a plot by Chinese
athiests to get money from Americans.
Sent from my iPhone
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Once I Was In A Hot Tub In Palm Springs, With Stars And Swaying Palm Trees Above Me When I Read in USA Today That It Was -30 In Anchorage
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
hospital after having his foot amputated. I told him, like I tell my
Mary-Kay-selling friend, "If you want people to take your health
issues seriously, you can't look
He did look great; I told him he was the coolest person I know because
he's like a round peg leg in a square world.
Sent from my iPhone
Monday, November 09, 2009
snowfall ever, we woke up this morning to a world of whiteness. Or to
put it another way, snow.
By the way, what is the deal with Sarah Palin? Why is she trying to
turn Reagan's "big tent" into a freak show?
Sent from my iPhone
Friday, November 06, 2009
Wednesday, November 04, 2009
Them that's not shall lose
So the Bible said and it still is news
Tuesday, November 03, 2009
I entered a cartoon contest at the New Yorker, and apparently signed up for an e-mail update from the magazine. There was an article this week about using robots to help people recover from strokes and to help socialize autistic children. Some are unsettled by this because they think, for example, maybe autistic children should be socializing with people. Also, "Patients don’t want to be entirely subservient to the robot..."
I guess they want to preserve "the same illusion of freedom we all have."
Sunday, November 01, 2009
At the end of the House at Pooh Corner, there's an affecting scene where it appears that Christopher Robin is growing up and leaving Pooh behind. Luckily, the Disney company has stepped in to destroy the poignancy and restore Pooh to his contented stout self. Or perhaps they represent the near triumph of Godless Capitalism.
Oh, and speaking of Puff-the-Magic-Dragon-like endings, how's this for poignancy?
Friday, October 30, 2009
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Gang aft agley,
An' lea'e us nought but grief an' pain,
For promis'd joy
My scheme to eat less this week, was a well laid plan. Very well laid, like an egg, a scrambled egg. Karen's birthday was yesterday, and we went out to eat last night, and tonight. And for a couple of days before that I was celebrating Karen's birthday, alone, in the dark with bowls of ice cream.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
It's robots making videos to be found by search engines. Once they can eliminate people entirely, the middle man, so to speak, the process will be perfected. The singularity creeps closer, documented on Youtube. Or it would have been, if not for the whole singularity thing.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
This month, though, Wired magazine has an article about taking the gene that causes the algae to move, inserting it into viruses and inserting the viruses into specific brain cells. Ostensibly, combined with implanted LEDs they can cure Parkinson's or depression. The lame can walk and the blind surf the web. Fine, but just you wait until Monsanto patents it. They'll probably start by curing people's aversion to genetically modified food, and it will all end up with people shambling down the streets eating each other.
Friday, October 23, 2009
This morning after weighing myself, I decided to eat less. So far, it hasn't made any difference in my weight.
Okay, neither of those interested me either, so take a look here for some fascinating statistics.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Friday, October 16, 2009
Sorry if these are sophomoric observations. I say, I'm sorry, but really if I achieved sophomoric status, I'm doing well; these were freshman lectures.
Today at the post office, I began to argue with my supervisor about being forced to carry a third bundle of mail instead of working the mail into two bundles. It's faster to carry two bundles, but it does take a few minutes to work them together. Eventually I apologized for bringing it up, "I'm sorry," I told her, "I was disoriented by a blinding flash of the obvious." It can happen.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Monday, October 12, 2009
On the other hand, I've been a little distraught because my iPhone has been getting more and more erratic. It's been starting to click icons before my finger reaches the phone, and today while I waited for Karen it began to click icons when I wasn't even reaching towards the phone. I was watching a movie and it started rewinding it, and when I tried to reach Apple support, it started calling random numbers and composing an e-mail to my sister. It would have been a confusing letter, too, because it was using a Lewis Carroll poem for the body. "A fact so dread, he faintly said, extinguishes all hope."
Not all hope, though. Apple says they'll send me a new phone tomorrow.
Oh, yeah, this was a post about Karen. She's fine.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Tomorrow she's having day surgery.
Saturday, October 10, 2009
...confidential grinding logs and other Cargill records show that the hamburgers were made from a mix of slaughterhouse trimmings and a mash-like product derived from scraps that were ground together at a plant in Wisconsin. The ingredients came from slaughterhouses in Nebraska, Texas and Uruguay, and from a South Dakota company that processes fatty trimmings and treats them with ammonia to kill bacteria.
By the way, does the Nobel Peace Prize mean anything anymore? Well, not much since Yasser Arafat (“Peace for us means the destruction of Israel. We are preparing for an all-out war, a war which will last for generations.”) got it, and then Al Gore for his massive hot air on global warming. But at least Al Gore had done something when he invented the internet. If the President got it for making speeches about peace, then using Walt Kelly's logic, a lot of us should be in the running next year.
Thursday, October 08, 2009
Chandler: Hey Joey, where do Dutch people come from? Joey: Uh... well the Pennsylvania Dutch come from Pennsylvania. Chandler: And the other Dutch come from somewhere near the Netherlands right? Joey: Nice try, see the Netherlands is this make believe place where Peter Pan and Tinkerbell come from.
The other night that there was a story on the news about health care in the Netherlands, a place where insurance companies compete on service. If only it was a real place.
Theatre of the absurd: "characters caught in hopeless situations forced to do repetitive or meaningless actions; dialogue full of clichés, wordplay, and nonsense"
A couple of days ago, while I was putting mail in mailboxes, over and over for the 32nd year, I was listening to my police scanner. There was a story about a headless, limbless torso that had been found in a business park here. I aspired to absurdity, and said that it might be suicide. Apparently, there's a thin line between absurdity and stupidity, judging by the response I got. It turned out that the body which was found on a roof was a moose, although suicide hasn't been ruled out.
Monday, October 05, 2009
A spokesman for Solid Waste Services expects it will take time for people to get used to the new system. As expected, there was some grumbling last year."It's a big change, more for some people than others," she said. "Within a couple of weeks, those calls went way down."Apparently, if you don't call every week, you must be happy with the system.In much more interesting news, at least to me, as you'll see, I took a personality test this weekend. It was sort of on a whim, but it turns out I have a recognized personality type. They call it, The Investigator, but, in reading the description, I realized they call it that only because "pathologically self-absorbed weenie" was already taken.
Friday, October 02, 2009
A friend of mine told me recently that he suspected I wasn't above changing the facts if I thought it would make a better story. I was surprised to hear him say that since we've known each other more than twenty five years. At least, I was surprised to hear him say it now. I'm not saying it's true, mind you. Oscar Wilde has some aphorisms on that, buried in a long essay which apparently was the philosophical basis for the new movie The Invention of Lying. I couldn't say it better myself... or could I?
Thursday, October 01, 2009
I mean, I can guess, since looking around, I don't see any Punics, but no spoilers please.
In other news, after my two posts about the new garbage collection system, I saw that the e-mail I had received from them suggested I reply if I didn't want to receive any more e-mails from them. In my reply, I excerpted quite a bit from the blog about the recycling cult and the Bandar-log. So, it was embarrassing the next morning to have to call and ask what day pick up would be. It should have been embarrassing for them, since in their e-mail they said that some people's schedule would stay the same and others would change, and they didn't say who was who. On the other hand, they didn't compare me to a bunch of monkeys (at least not where I could hear them).
By the way, we got two garbage cans so in T9 you could say we got dual service.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
It was pretty good news because the worry had been that we'd have to put the garbage cans in front of our houses instead of the alley, which in the winter, especially given Anchorage's wretched snow plowing will be very difficult to do.
Actually, the crews weren't delivering the cans, they were picking them up out of the alley where they'd put them by mistake so they could put them in front of the houses.
So, I was testy, when one of my customers said, "How are you?" You'd think she'd know by now; I'm irritable. So, I explained that I was ticked about the recycling. She was too. And then I explained that I was irritated by the new traffic circle they just put up in our neighborhood that's supposed to calm traffic, but is enraging every driver that makes it through. Why, why does everything the municipality does make my life harder? She said she didn't like the new mayor, and I said that was fine, if it made her feel better, I'd hate him too, but I especially hated the smarmy former mayor who is now our smarmy Senator. Just then, someone drove by and yelled out the window, "Hello, beautiful people!"
She said, "That's Don Young's campaign manager."
I said, "I hate Don Young."
Monday, September 28, 2009
So, here are a couple of things I heard recently,
Tom Waits singing, "I've got the clouds but not the sky." which pretty much sums life up most of the time.
Sandra Tsing-loh said her brother is getting marred for the second time late in life, and he and his bride are registering at Wells Fargo.
No wait, I didn't completely run out because I've been saving this, for when I really run out of ideas: I've got a gardener that sings roots music.
Here's a preview of tomorrow's post.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Karen has quietly been filling a box with books to send to Sarah; last night the doorbell rang, and there was a mailman on our porch with a box of books from Sarah. Sort of a Powell's doctrine first strike.
Ostensibly these were books that could go to Title Wave, but Title Wave has taken a very judgmental tone lately about used books being dropped off at a used book store. I loaded up my bike trailer last weekend and rode over there (up that steep hill by West High for those of you that have spent some time here [with a load of books in the trailer, don't forget]) only to hear, "We're not a donation center, you know."
I was sort of irritated (and sweaty) and while I was wandering around the store, I found a book I wanted that was only $1.50. But then I went online with my iPhone and found it free on Google's Book Reader. That kind of snottiness only really works when you've got a monopoly. That's what I tell my customers, rudely.
Friday, September 25, 2009
Smith doesn't have any) about Plato, Socrates, Vergil and Hannibal.
They insist that citizens take an interest in the life of the
community. Following this Socratic precept, I've installed a police
scanner on my iPhone.
Here's a question for the ages gleaned from my new attention to the
polis; why would a woman fake being unconscious on a public restroom
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Oh, and I have a cold. I think it's just a regular cold, and not a swine cold. Maybe it's a bovine cold, because I plan to milk it for whatever it's worth.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Sir Thomas More:[to Will Roper] Now, listen, Will. Two years ago you were a passionate churchman. Now you're a passionate Lutheran. We must just pray that when your head's finished turning, your face is to the front again.~From a Man For All Seasons
Like its predecessors, the Obama administration treats additional government funding as a solution to unaffordable health care, rather than its cause.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Right now we're eating lunch and then we have some shopping to do, but then I've got a ton of little chores I'm going to get started on this weekend.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Dog's Owner: They're alright.
Dog's Owner: They've never done that before.
To paraphrase Katt Williams, "Every time? Every time."
Monday, September 14, 2009
My dog bite is healing, I guess. Here's a link to the latest picture of it. Now you can see where the teeth from the bottom jaw hit on my arm. The owner told me today that they've put the dog on restriction. I thought that was a cutesy term for quarantine, but no, animal control has never called them.
Friday, September 11, 2009
And to recap yesterday's post, irritating unwanted paper should be delivered to a mailbox by a mailman, and everyone should have a dog for house cleaning.
Except today I was bitten by a dog on my route. At least it was a real bite, and I could feel more manly and less frock-wearing-and-parasol-waving than I did when I was attacked by a cat.
If you're interested, it looks like this.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Did you know that in the Soviet Union, there were no phone books? Telephone numbers were given out on a need to know basis. In contrast, at the dawn of the Internet Age, the mantra was "Information wants to be free. Om" Okay most of that was that we all wanted to steal music. Like St Paul said, "All things are lawful, but not all things are expedient. Francis Schaefer said that among his students this freedom was misinterpreted as license. Just now, you need to know that keeping my hands on the keyboard is introducing a tone of reasonableness and civility that was missing earlier today when I was talking about this. Then, my hands were waving in the air. Sure, the First Amendment guarantees freedom of the press, but here, this freedom is running amok and littering because everyone in this town with a printing press is lobbing phone books into my yard, and I'm sick of it. And planning on being even sicker of it, when I have to start dealing with expensive and mandatory garbage men. I suggested to my assemblywoman an opt-in requirement but the SWS guy besides positing that soon I'd love being held hostage by garbage men, said that the phone book company goons would mount a legal challenge, so there was nothing we could do. Because if a lawyer throws a phone book at you, it's fine, but just you try it, and they'll throw the book at you, so to speak.
More health news, for the only mildly squeamish. Yesterday Karen called me at work and told me that her tubing had popped apart and was spurting blood. I told her that she should call the home health people in charge of her pump since their office is right at the end of our street. She did and they came and fixed it all up. When I got home, she had changed clothes and their was no sign of any problem. Because Bernie had followed her around licking up all the blood.
An' Here I Sit So Patiently Waiting To Find Out What Price You Have To Pay To Get Out Of Going Through All These Things Twice.~Bob Dylan
In other news, does anyone else find it ironic that I can't find my GPS, even using my iPhone to help look for it?
Tuesday, September 08, 2009
Sunday, September 06, 2009
Wednesday, September 02, 2009
Anyway, the placebo response is real, and research indicates that even inert drugs can act as a "catalyst for ... the body's 'endogenous health care system.'" if the patient believes they will help. Drug company's advertising has been so effective that just taking a pill, any pill, can trigger the release of endorphins and dopamine, making the patient feel better. Or, meet the Republican health care plan. Along with squinting for vision care and a piece of string and a door knob for do it yourself dentistry.
In other news, the Onion is reporting on the Postal Service's offer to buy out its employees.
Tuesday, September 01, 2009
We went to the fair on Sunday. I tried to include something from each major food group, fried, frozen, dipped and spicy. I moderated my eating somewhat; I only had a medium ice cream cone. On the way out though, I was like a toddler in a shopping cart with both arms out. I found myself at the gate holding a corn dog and an ear of corn. It turns out that being rated the best corn dog is an ambiguous compliment. Yes, Dean's Corn Dogs may have better batter (a tasty tongue twister ) than the others but it had the same insipid hot dog. The world is crying out for a corn dog that doesn't disappoint. Or just fried batter, that would be good.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Which is a pity because when I got home from work today I discovered that the Johnsons had bought us a high-def TV so now I really have no reason to leave the house
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Monday, August 24, 2009
That was an example of the kind of dream that Zoloft users have. Last night Ambre was telling me that new research shows that nocebos are as powerful as placebos and that whatever we expect to happen with a medication is what happens. I said, "I don't know if that's true, Zoloft has really helped me a lot. Oh no, maybe it's just because I expected it to help! Help! Help! I'm going to keep believing it so just drop it, please!"
So, see, things can spiral out of control even without a tiger.
Friday, August 21, 2009
Sent from my iPhone
Even so, I want to tell you that I really looked forward to getting an iPhone, and then to getting a bluetooth stereo headset, and pace Mr. Spock, I really love them. Today before I fell asleep in Karen's doctor's office I was able to post an ad on Craigslist. I understand that people won't be necessary in a post singularity universe, and that evolutionary pressures on machines mean they won't have to love us like we love them, but man, I really love my iPhone.
Of course, once the phone breaks or disappoints I'll probably have to write another post titled "Spock Was Right, He Always Is" and man the barricades against the machine overlords, but until then...
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
I'd probably know about it if they'd used Bill Cosby as their spokesman.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
You so two thousand and late
I got that boom boom boom
That future boom boom boom
~from Boom Boom Pow by the Black Eyed Peas
Friday, August 14, 2009
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Every other industrialized country has a single payer system that costs less than ours and provides much better outcomes by any measure.
We should ask ourselves who benefits from scuttling the attempts at reform?
Monday, August 10, 2009
I expected to be at the end of my career just now, but instead I believe I'll have another piece of Cake;
The fans get up and they get out of town.
The arena is empty except for one man,
Still driving and striving as fast as he can.
The sun has gone down and the moon has come up,
And long ago somebody left with the cup.
Friday, August 07, 2009
Monday, August 03, 2009
Sunday, August 02, 2009
In real life, last night I was telling one of Leah's friends about being attacked by a cat. She just laughed at (not with) me. Too late I noticed her t-shirt.
Speaking of Catzilla, I was back in Woodside East (I felt like Stephen Sondheim's mailman) yesterday delivering mail. The scary cat's owners have put up a mailbox. I like to think that I've helped to make the world a little safer.
Friday, July 31, 2009
I know that as a conservative, I'm supposed to oppose the public plan for health insurance, but can I still hate the private health insurance companies? Yes.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Instead of a phone, I went to DMV and renewed my driver's license. It was a little disappointing because when my current license expires, coincidentally also on August 5th, I'll be eligible to retire. My plan had always been to let my license expire because once I retire why would I ever want to drive? It wasn't a very good plan, I see now. And other plans of that caliber have ensured that I won't be able to retire then anyway. Or possibly ever.
In other news, Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad has called on the authorities to treat their political prisoners with "Islamic mercy."
To which the Iranian political prisoners screamed, "No-o-o, anything but that!"
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
To quote Smokey Robinson, "Take a good look at my face," because even though we just spent money we don't have on a couch we didn't need, I'm about to cut my (metaphorical) nose off and go buy a new iPhone.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
“People hate me because I am a multifaceted, talented, wealthy, internationally famous genius.” ~Jerry Lewis
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
So, I went back to work today, and things are a lot like then, now. I do have a new appreciation for what geese go through in order to produce foie gras.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Last night, Sarah and Sean went back to Boston. We were up in Glen Alps yesterday, and a man pointed out a dot that he claimed was a moose. He said, "You can never see too many moose." But last night as we were driving to the airport, we saw one inside the fence that is there to protect the runways from moose. So, maybe you could see one too many. Now, Sunday morning, it's begun to rain. This almost never happens in real life, at least, not my real life. That is, that it would be sunny, if smoky, all week when we had guests, and then rain after they left.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Yesterday we took a cruise on the Riverboat Discovery. One of the high points of that trip has always been the Wedding of the Chena and Tanana Rivers. The clear Chena joins the silty Tanana and something better than both of them emerges. E Pluribus Unum. Except that so much silt has built up that the boat can no longer make it into the Tanana. So now, it's more like nature saying, "Good fences make good neighbors."
I don't want to give the wrong impression here. Mostly while Sarah and her Sean went off to look at Alaskan stuff, Karen and I stayed in the air conditioned motor home and read and slept. I did a book a day, powered almost entirely by Corn Nuts and cashews.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Now we're in Fairbanks at an RV park. We're sitting on the porch at the office, watching the world go by, and waiting for our laundry to dry. The temperature in the shade here is near earth normal, but a few steps away it is swearing.
Wednesday, July 08, 2009
I was wrong yesterday when I said I was clawed by a dog. Apparently there is a dangerous cat that lives in that condo. I'm just saying he must be like a saber-tooth cat. That claw looked like an antler. A few people pointed out that it would have to have been an unusually tall and thin dog to reach up and through the slot. I don't want to beat this to death but the cat is locked in the garage, while their pit bull is in the house.
Tuesday, July 07, 2009
Today I was delivering mail on another route. I lifted up the flap on a mail slot (using the mail, and not my hand, as I was trained, to avoid being bitten by a dog) and a dog's claw shot out and punctured my hand. My thumb instantly began to swell. I looked like Sissy Hankshaw's mailman. I tried to call my supervisor, but my phone wasn't working. In a way, that was a relief, since I haven't been able to get any of Sarah Palin's tweets. I got the phone restarted, and told my supervisor I was heading to the walk-in clinic right next to the route I was delivering. She said she'd meet me there with the sheaf of forms they'd need to fill out. For some reason, though, they don't take federal comp claims.
They called ahead to a clinic just down the road a mile or so, and they did take federal comp claims, but when we got there with our file cabinet of papers, they said they took comp claims, but not hands. They did clean the blood off and then called across the street to another clinic who said, "Sure, send him over." There, they said that they didn't know who would have said that since they don't take federal comp claims. A doctor came wandering by, and said that it was his clinic, and he'd see me ( that was the only way he was going to get mail today since he lives on my route). But first he had to go get some lunch. The reception staff, said that he'd see me when he got back, but if what I wanted was a tetanus shot, I'd have to go somewhere else since they didn't stock vaccines.
Dejected, and abandoned at that point by my supervisor who had some reports to print out, I drove my mail truck to the hospital. By then the swelling had gone down, and the puncture was visible only with a microscope. The medical assistant pretended to clean the area I said was wounded, but I got a real tetanus shot and a bandaid.
Maybe it's time for no-fault health insurance reform.
Saturday, July 04, 2009
She asked about the postal holiday schedule, and I began to explain that I was working my day off, Thursday, because that was some people's holiday. That led me into explaining carrier's scheduling generally. Frankly, it was a bigger exposition than Chicago in 1915, and she pretended to fall asleep so as not to hurt my feelings.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Monday, June 22, 2009
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Yesterday in the Russian Jack Park, near Boniface, I heard a sound, "just like ringing a bell."
It turns out that's the sound made by a latex tube exploding. According to Google Maps
I carried my bike about 1.7 miles home.
Today, though, we rode to the top of Crooked Tree Street, which, again, according to Google Maps is 800 feet above sea level. That isn't that impressive, but half those 800 feet seem to come in the last 800 feet.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Friday, June 12, 2009
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Monday, June 08, 2009
Also, I bet when he was trying to save the world, he didn't cause so many problems. Yesterday was the Anchorage Tour de Cure to raise money for diabetes research. I had signed up to ride the 100K route. At the starting point, the man said to gather around, so I gathered myself over there, and then stood around waiting for something to happen. Meanwhile, everyone else in the parking lot kept getting ready. The man said, "Go," and they went. I still had to pump up my tires, put on my shoes, and everything else you do to get ready to "Go!" By the time I "Went!" I was all alone in the parking lot with the sound of crickets playing in my head.
It was a beautiful day for a ride, or a run, or walk with a stroller or dogs, and the trails were busy. I was bustling along, but at about mile 27 I came around a corner doing about 20 miles per hour when I plowed right into a runner, lifting him off his feet and throwing him into the bushes I slammed into the asphalt, cracking my helmet. A lot of other things happened, and then the runner and I were alone again waiting for an ambulance to come and get him. Although I was wearing spandex bike shorts, it looked like I was wearing a pair of pulsating pants on my legs because of all the mosquitoes. It also looked like I had tied a wool sweater around my head. Luckily the mosquitoes were sucking up all the blood that might otherwise have attracted the two bears that had been reported near there. A lot of people went by while we waited, including two members of my so-called team. They asked if I was okay. I said I was because that's what guys say. As they rode away, I heard one say, "Was that David?" (there might have been a question because of the blue sweater). The other guy said, "Yeah, but he said he's okay."
The ambulance finally showed up, driving right down the trail. They had their flashing lights on. I guess they weren't sure if an enormous vehicle on a bike trail would draw enough attention. They put the runner in the back to assess him out of mosquito range. One of the EMT's asked if I was okay. I told him I wasn't sure. I'd hit my head and I had a headache. He said that they'd look at me next, and then they drove away.
I decided my Tour was finished, and started to ride back to Eagle River, 27 miles away. A few minutes later, a friend (my hero, Rich) called to see how the ride was going. I told him, and he met me and drove me back to get my car.
I called around trying to find out how the runner was, but HIPAA and human cussedness kept me from finding out. I did leave my name and phone number with the fire department who said they'd give it to the hospital, to give to him, but he hasn't called yet.
As usual, I'm fine, but Rich's friend's first comment when she heard about my accident was, "He's a menace."
I'm starting to think maybe she's right. I enjoy biking, but is it really fair to everybody else for me to keep on, leaving a wake of broken glass and ribs? I don't know.
Friday, June 05, 2009
Thursday, June 04, 2009
I heard on the radio the other day that one of my customers won a prestigious national award. I bet he's feeling all superior like he's a better math teacher than the rest of us.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Which is not at all what I meant to be talking about. The package also included The Cyclists Yellow Pages. There was a listing for trail maps of Anchorage that I had never seen before which includes slideshows of various local trails.
Here's the site, and here's the trail I ride the most since it's the closest to our house. Mile 3.67 in the slide show is where we get on from here, about 6 blocks from our house.
Incidentally, today might be known as the Day of the Long Noses. After 2008, the year without a summer, we've had weeks of warm clear days this spring. Today the mosquitos were out, out for blood.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
It's probably just as well that as a misanthrope I'm going to die earlier than I would have. It turns out if I don't, I'm going to have to age without the benefit of a skeleton. According to research I stumbled across looking for the story about those brainy ants, serotonin carries messages back and forth from people's intestines to their skeletons (those voices in your head may, in fact, be coming from your skull). An excess of serotonin (as may happen with the use of SSRI's like Zoloft) tells the skeleton to stop replacing itself with new bone. Which I suppose would be depressing if I wasn't taking Zoloft. Of course, if I wasn't then I wouldn't have to worry about it. My life, brought to you by Catch 22.
Friday, May 22, 2009
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Then I thought, if God didn't create the universe, where did it come from and why does it exist at all, and how could you describe, or even think about a universe in a state of non-existence?
So, anyway, the universe and I are expanding. I can get into my bike clothes only because they're spandex, but they make me look really bad, because, um, they're spandex.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
The punch line in Sally Forth today was, "People change, Hil. So do their medications."
Technology tries to keep up, though. When the internet was new, long before Netflix, there was a site that attempted to recommend movies based on your ratings of other movies. No matter what I rated, they always recommended Land Before Time IV. I was fascinated by the specificity of that. I'd never rated, or even seen, LBT 1-3, so why they would assume familiarity with the franchise? Anyway, time's marched on; I'm happily medicated, but Netflix must discern something seething underneath my placid, almost ovine, exterior. They've created a whole category of recommendations for me called Violent Crime Films.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Friday, May 15, 2009
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Today, Ellie had to go to the vet. She was dehydrated, like some anorexic rock star. She had to have an IV drip approximately $476.00 into her leg. Two weeks ago, Bernie had to have two IV's; they shaved his front legs like a poodle. Yesterday he had his stitches removed, and along with them, any chance of my retiring. I am heavily insured, so I'm starting to feel like Moses. I'll get a glimpse of the promised land, but only the next generation will get to go into my inheritance.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Anyway, whatever, this morning I'm thinking about those twits on Fox again. From the short, almost unintelligible, inhuman squeals, of the sound bites I hear, they're blaming unions for the state of the economy. Yes, that's right, union members with their CDO's and CDS's and multimillion dollar paychecks.
"Until this moment, Senator, I think I never really gauged your cruelty or your recklessness." When McCarthy tried to continue his attack, Welch angrily interrupted, "Let us not assassinate this lad further, senator. You have done enough. Have you no sense of decency?"
Monday, May 11, 2009
Today I realized that would probably be my answer either way.
I went out this evening to put my new tires and tubes on my bike. Tomorrow I think I'll walk to work. That'll be easier than carrying the bike the work.
Friday, May 08, 2009
Here are a couple of other videos that you are supposed to have seen already "Unless You're a Loser or Old or Something".
Ok, Here it Goes and
Tuesday, May 05, 2009
Just then, she looked up at me and said, "Do you wanna box?"
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Somebody said that Keith Olderman, of MSNBC had challenged Hannity about waterboarding to stop just talking, and walk the walk, or the plank, or something. I said that Keith Olderman was a jerk, too. The other guy said, "No, he's smart, you couldn't win an argument with him."
I said, "Big deal, I can't win an argument with my wife, either." For that matter, even the dogs are sort of intransigent about some things. Actually, the dog deserves a post of his own. We're about $2000 into dog health care since Monday. I don't want to get all into it, but for the health of your pancreas, the vet recommends changing your diet if you eat a lot of red meat and the neighbor's decomposing garbage.
Anyway, by the time I started delivering mail today, it had warmed up so I was wearing my uniform shorts. Now, for the purposes of this post, you'll have to imagine someone said, "Nice legs!" I turned my ankle daintily and looked down at them, "Oh, these old things?"
It was a beautiful day for a ride after work, but I didn't really have time for that. Especially after wasting so much time sitting on the curb shaking.