Mmm, Deep Fried Something

Our good friend Satan is staying with us this week and doing our menu planning. Supposedly I'm in training for a century ride on Friday, but if that doesn't pan out, I may consider a food eating contest.
Oh damn (ha, ha, Satan reference) I was looking for a cute link to a food contest and found this at the International Federation of Competitive Eating safety page:

The IFOCE is against at-home training of any kind... The IFOCE urges all interested parties to become involved in sanctioned events -- do not try speed eating home.