So, after reading the forecast, I was huddling near my computer for warmth. I'm reluctant to turn up the heat since Enstar welcomed in the new year by raising natural gas prices 22%, after a thirty-something percent rise last year.
I saw this. I knew from previous experiments in weight gain that Iowans aren't afraid of lard, but now it turns out that they're not afraid of salt, either, not even alone in dark alleys with it.
Roosevelt said we only had to fear fear, but I'm a little worried about going back to work on Monday after my unbridled affair with Doritos for the last couple of weeks. My soul delights in fatness, but my thighs somehow have to fit inside my uniform and I'm more like Jeshurun than I want to admit.