"I Often Wonder What The Vintners Buy One Half So Precious As The Goods They Sell."

Which goes double for IHOP. To paraphrase more from the Rubaiyat, A loaf of bread, a jug of syrup, and thou beside me in the wilderness...
In the first twenty-two hours I was off my diet I went up one pant size. And that was before even opening the syrup. Curse you, Chef Boyardee, and your ravioli that don't even have to be chewed, and curse you, Costco, for selling them in eight-packs.
Anyway, I'd like to stay here and tell you more, but the English muffins, Doritos and Triscuits aren't going to eat themselves, at least, not if I get to them.