Bloom where you're planted may be good advice for schoolgirls and neurotics* but our zucchini has been skittering away from its garden for months. Today I was picking squash out of our birch tree. Only in America.

*oops, I put an asterisk in the post, but never added the note at the bottom to go with it. That seems like something Grammarly could have fixed, but it's too busy critiquing commas and pointing out that Grammarly should be capitalized. Anyway, "schoolgirls and neurotics," was actually something S. J. Perelman wrote about something else, but I've always loved saying it. And, again, not to brag, but just in this one paragraph, I have three "advanced issues."