Tuesday, December 10, 2013
I Don't Have To Think Of A Title For This Post. That's Not How We Roll
On our last day in Boston, I was in a fender bender. I was very apologetic to the other driver, but after brooding about it for awhile, and using my super rationalization power, I figured out how it was probably the other driver's fault. It was her fault, or maybe her fault, but my power is so amazing that I could probably have spun it in my own mind so that it would have been her fault even if I'd merged into her breakfast table. "Why would you make waffles if you didn't want company?" The worst part of the accident was that they always say that the drive to the airport is the most dangerous part of the trip, and now my life has become even more cliche.
Among the coolest presents I got at the Hotel Holiday were, a taillight for my bike and a SlapLit LED bracelet. The bracelet (or anklet, as I wear it on my bike) is eerily soothing. It has the deep red hue that hitherto could only be achieved in a dark cocktail lounge by a red neon sign barely illuminating a brooding booth. The taillight flashes red like they all do, but it also emits two laser beams. I was a little concerned about that when I saw it at the Holiday because I didn't want to blind anyone, or at least, I didn't want to blind anyone driving a car right behind me. The lasers are projected straight down, though, so they create two lines for me to cycle between. They probably symbolize the breakdown in society that has led to Twitter and the Tea Party, but now, anywhere I ride is, de facto, between the lines. E Pluribus Unum becomes "One For All, And All For Anomie."
And now, to wrap up with something totally off topic, the New York Times reports that Google is working to create a robotic package delivery system. And not the way I do it, but with real robots. They claim that they want robots to do the dull repetitive tasks, which is fine, but I'm going to miss the dull repetitive paychecks.