You Can Look For Me On Facebook

But if you believe them, you won't be able to find me. This story may make me seem old (other things that may make me seem old: my birth certificate, my face, my triceps that are always just slightly behind the beat).
Yesterday, I created a Facebook account so I could stay in touch with my friends around the world. But, no sooner had I created it, than I realized how much Facebook creeps me out. They seem like the kind of person you just met that stands way too close, puts their hand on your arm, and breathes in your face, and wants to do everything with you. When they wanted to "help" me look for my friends on their service, they didn't ask for my friends' names or email addresses,  they wanted me to give them my email address book so they could look for me. They want to identify me in pictures and tag me in them, whether or not I'm really in the picture, or if I want to be tagged. I didn't find their privacy settings easy to adjust, or even find at all.

I get that google does similar things, but google search provides me a service that makes it seem like a fair trade. Facebook seems to be constantly playing gotcha with their members. So, unless you searched for me in the two or three minutes from when I created my account, to when I deactivated it, I should be impossible to find. If you can believe Facebook.