His Friends Call Him Gordy

My dad used to say, "If you want to do something, you have to something else first."
 Today we were planning on taking a couple of loads of trash to the dump. We filled the truck for the first load and then tried to use our ratcheting tie-downs to secure the load. The thing is though, I like having ratcheting tie-downs because just saying it makes me feel manly, but the truth is, I can never get them to ratchet, and if I do, then I can never get them loose. Today I could only find one, probably because I've had to cut them off at the dump or something. I, as usual, couldn't get the hang of the ratchet, so I tied a trucker's knot. Well, it was a trucker's knot, if the the trucker was named Gordias.
Just as we were leaving, I noticed that the tags on the truck had expired, and it seemed like before we went to a municipal facility, we should get that resolved, so took our truck and trash to an Xpress Lube for a quick IM and new tags, but after the test, their computer couldn't connect with DMV. So we braved a trip to the dump, and then stopped by Home Depot for some non-ratcheting tie downs, tie downs for dummies, as it were.
Then, on to DMV. The mechanic at Xpress Lube had mentioned that the VIN on the registration didn't match the one on the truck. We mentioned it to the clerk at DMV, who reacted as if we'd said that Xpress Lube had said our truck was switched at birth, or on a milk carton, "Have you seen this truck?" Anyway, to make a long story longer, it only required a trip home for more documents and back to DMV, but by then it was too late for me to go, or for another trip to the dump because I had to take Karen for a doctor's appointment.
Well, not really, because we had to wait for over an hour for the doctor, who took a phone call and a text message while he was with us. His summary, "I think she's going to have swollen legs for the rest of her life."