I've written here before about "Austin from Texas," who calls every day to warn me that my Windows computer is compromised. For someone who must have lived in Texas for years by now, he still has an extremely thick Indian accent. I always tell him that he's wasting his time calling me because I'm not falling for his scam, and asking if his mother knows what he does for a living. Over the years, I've blown a police whistle into the phone, sworn at him, reasoned with him, and hung up on him. So, I'm saying we had a relationship.
Now, though, he's been replaced by a woman. No, that's not accurate. He's been replaced by a robot that SOUNDS like a woman. I avoid self-checkout, but how can I stand up for Austin's right to scam me in person?
Also, Melinda, Monica? (I can't remember her name, but I'm sure I'll be hearing from her again) used my number as her caller ID. I know I"m often forgetful, but I really do feel like I'd remember calling myself when my phone began to ring.  It was bad enough when they outsourced the scam to India as if our own criminals weren't up to the job, but I'm drawing the line at reading the spiel myself to save the scammers even more money.
And, as usual, while I was complaining about a robot calling to scam me, ANOTHER robot just called to tell me I'm about to be charged $399 for computer services if I don't give them my account number so they can cancel the charge. My wife wants me to get a job, but between calling Caremark to ask if just this once they'd consider sending her medicine to where we are instead of a town in PA we've never heard of and fending off robot attackers, I don't know when I'll even have time to get dressed.

Travis Holt recommended the comedian, Bill Burr. After watching a few minutes, I wrote this to Travis:
I started watching Walk Your Way Out. I had my shirt off so I was already feeling bad, but he did his rant about fat people and finished it up with, "Go be a postman." It was like he really knew me.

Apparently, while I was writing about watching a video, Facebook was watching me because ever since then they’ve been showing me ads for bras.