Cities Are Like Toddlers. They Could Sleep, But They're Overtired

We're still hiding out in the Southwest waiting for winter to end in Alaska. Or start for that matter; February has steamed up the books with record warmth all over the state. Meanwhile, yesterday  it snowed just outside of our latest city of refuge, Las Vegas. Like New York, Las Vegas never sleeps. Which is just a nice way of saying that no matter the time of day or night, there always too many people on the street.
Since we don't want to smoke, drink, gamble, overeat or pay for sex, we really have no reason to ever leave our luxury time-share. Except for this which has been going on, off and on, on and on for twelve hours a day. Plus, last night, I lost all self control and while I still don't drink, gamble or pay for sex, I ate so much that I although I also still don't smoke, I am smoldering a little. Tomorrow, when we have to evacuate from the stentorian warning that says we don't have to evacuate, I think we may hit a buffet.

Busman's Holiday

From Bisbee, we went on to Mesa, the theory being that since we had friends that had a house in Arizona, effectively we had a house in Arizona. Benjamin Franklin said that fish and friends begin to smell after three days. Of course, he was writing in the 18th Century before the advent of refrigeration and massaging shower heads, so we stretched it out a little longer, but after a few days, we moved on to Yuma. Everyone said that you can't winter in Yuma because it's too hot. I scoffed because I want warm winters and I didn't plan on summering in the desert. The naysayers were right, though. Today in Yuma it is supposed to reach 90℉, but it will have to do it without us, we're heading to Lake Havasu City on our way to a week in Las Vegas. A few years ago we scratched Flagstaff off our list of possible retirement retreats because it snowed twice while we were there. I think there isn't a snowball's chance in Yuma that we'll retire here. My sister joined us here, and it was fun, but I think we could have had just as much fun somewhere where we didn't have to skulk in the shadows
This morning I went for a walk and listened to podcasts, just like I'd never retired at all. Grammar Girl talked about participles. She said that they were verbal because they looked like verbs, but that they acted more like adjectives. It seemed an odd thing that verbs are words that do things, but that usually the word "verbal" means to just talk about things. Here are twenty-five examples I didn't think of that are also their own opposites.

Lots Of Rise, No Run

Remember back in school they taught you to calculate linear equations and slopes? Me neither, really, but I went for a walk in Bisbee today and the whole town seems to be a special case as explained here at Math is Fun. I found that the town consists of a narrow road with all the buildings built up the sides of the abutting cliffs. The walk was breathtaking. Literally, hypoxia inducing.

Later we went to Tombstone, "the town too tough to die." The OK Corral is now a park, surrounded by gift shops. I think I simultaneously found my spiritual home and everything that is wrong with America:

Back To School

Karen and I are snuggled up in a charming bed and breakfast in Bisbee, AZ. It was originally a school built in 1918 and the classrooms have been made into guest rooms. Part of its charm is that there are no televisions or radios in the rooms. That lack is gain for relationships; free from TV's incessant distraction, couples can focus on what's most important to them. Karen and I were able to really finally compare  Netflix vs Hulu. Hulu had current  TV shows, but Netflix had The Rockford Files. It was fun to see the old cars and young James Garner. And the fashions. What were we thinking?
Today we're planning to go to Tombstone and see where the tourists get trapped.

I'm Not A Farmer's Daughter, But I Did Marry One

For the first time this year, I weighed myself this morning. Apparently, the trick mirror and trick waist-band conspirators I've been encountering  got to my scale, too. I admit I was a little overconfident about my weight, especially if that extra confidence weighed between eight and thirteen pounds. 

The good news is that I'm able to assume that this extra weight is muscle mass because of my six-day-a-week Planet Fitness habit. And it might be, too, at least the part that doesn't hang over my waistband; before I retired, I had calves that a 4H farmer's daughter would have been proud to show, and even now they're a mass of well-defined ropiness. 

Last week Hallmark thrilled, maybe even overexcited, their target demo of little old ladies by having a Diagnosis Murder/Matlock crossover event.  The next day, they gradually dialed back the excitement by having Mannix check in to Community General. My calves may be ropy, but they're not made of steel;  we're still a little tingly.

What If Toy Story Was A Documentary?

Someone came up to me on Sunday and said, "Have you thought about Wednesday?" I panicked and said, "Yes, my whole life," but it was sort of a lie, because I hadn't really thought about Wednesday at all. It turned out they had invited us for dinner, and we were supposed to be deciding on a day.
Of course, after that I couldn't stop thinking about Wednesday. It occurred to me that the phrase, "A Wednesday in February," is so filled with transgressive spelling choices that it's no wonder the terrorists hate us.
Now that I've retired, I'm free to spend several hours a week looking for the TV remote. But not for much longer. I've just ordered Pixies, a new little device that can be attached to anything and can be located within an inch. If you have more than one, they talk to each other, extending their range. That's what they're supposed to be talking about, although surely, when they realize just how many times in a day we lose the remote, they'll probably also be saying, "Can you believe these guys?"
If you'd like to enable your devices to talk about you, which admit it, you already assumed they did, you can click here. Full disclosure, if you do end up buying them through that link, I get a five dollar referral fee, but then you get a code to share with your friends just like Madoff and Ponzi.

That's Why I'm A Winner

To finish off the last post, one set of laser blasts was all it took to pierce my iris and send me on my way.
Since then, I've been working out at Planet Fitness every morning, or what passes for morning since I have no particular reason to get up if I'm still sleepy, or if I'm even concerned that I might get sleepy later. After that, Karen and I have been cleaning out the computer room. It's a massive undertaking because I used to bring stuff home, and Karen would it put it away. I've been doing my part, but, do you remember back in 2008, I was complaining about how I'd ridden one hundred miles in one day on my bike, and I was planning on talking about it for weeks and for months and for ever* and then two days later Karen upstaged me by going in for day surgery and had her heart stopped instead? Since then, she's been pretty disabled and it's really played havoc with our filing system. The surgery she had this spring has made a huge difference and we just now finished cleaning, filing and shredding.
Speaking of, "playing havoc", we finished just in time to watch the last few few plays of the Superbowl. My daughter lives in Boston, but our family has long ties to Seattle. I couldn't lose. I literally Could. Not. Lose.  I wasn't even playing.

*As you can see, that part worked out.